“This is not a love poem, but a confession for a girl I once loved,” n.a (via sailingaugust)
I sat blindly next to the girl who would write about all the people she intended to love. She was not afraid of the scalpel to cut her open. “I have nothing to hide. Just few poems that I refuse to let go of.” I was caught off guard by the electricity. That is all it took for you to unravel me.
I knew that you were beginning to open my skin and find all that I have thought about you. I felt as if you were the sky slowly pealing and ripping the colors from the sky. They were all over your palms, but you didn’t care. You wanted me. You wanted to love me.
I couldn’t accept that I loved you. No matter how many times I tried to convince myself that everything would be alright, you, the bright star were not enough and I am sorry that I could not be brave.
september is no different from any other, yet it is unlike any other. everything awaited is soon to arrive: there is this scent that clings to you—wraps around the intimate parts of you. it is calm. it is warm. the stars are exploding beneath you and the oceans are stuck above you— the colors have slipped from the horizon and my skin is covered in the melting hues. when you and i met, our orbit isn’t quite over. we are still strange. still in transition. still learning and fumbling. we try and steer. we go nowhere and everywhere exploring the lines and limits of ourselves. it is beautiful and ugly. we discover how the hell we haven’t broken each other, but most importantly ourselves. september is no different, yet it not like any other. i am able to better use my compass. this is when i start to feel everything more than ever.“september,” n.a (via sailingaugust)
Okay, I’m going to start with a disclaimer. I’m going to share my personal experience with this disorder, and then provide some links where you can read more about it. I don’t pretend to be an expert.
Manic-depressive disorder is actually an outdated term. It’s now referred to as bipolar disorder. My brother was diagnosed when he was about eighteen. And while his bipolar can influence his behavior, it doesn’t take away traits that were always distinctly him.
Before and after his diagnosis, my brother has been a logical and meticulous individual. He loves puzzles, trivia, statistics, and he can be remarkably funny. He’s not one to tell you he loves you, but he’s very sweet and his desire to be near me and my sister shows us that he loves us. He’ll go through periods where all he’ll do is read, and sometimes he won’t pick up a book for months. He loves music and poetry. These are his qualities outside of the disorder.
My brother gets very antsy, and it’s rare that you’ll find him sitting down. He likes to pace and wander around. He’ll talk to you for a few minutes, go and do something, and then come back and talk a little more. He can talk very fast and loud, and no matter what the subject, he’s very passionate and articulate. A few minutes later, he can get very quiet. You can tell he’s thinking, because he’ll stand with his head down, forehead wrinkled in deep thought. Sometimes he can look angry during these periods, but I know he’s just got a lot going on in his head. It’s best not to engage him in a long conversation during these times. If you try to talk to him, he’ll give you brief, quiet answers, or sometimes he’ll go somewhere that he can be alone. These are his qualities that the disorder brings about.
My brother also fell victim to what is called “self medicating.” He became addicted to alcohol and marijuana. Addiction is another topic entirely, so I won’t go into that. But it is another potential complication in any form of depression, including this one.
My brother’s bipolar disorder makes it difficult for him to hold onto a job. He can’t stay focused for hours at a time, nor can he interact with people for hours at a time. He can’t maintain the discipline it takes to work a job every day. Some individuals with bipolar disorder can, but this is something you’ll have to research and decide what will work best for your character.
The important thing to remember is that individuals with mental disorders have personality traits outside of the disorder. So think about who your character is beforehand and then consider how the disorder will factor in.
You can research it by googling, visiting your library, or look into the official description in the DSM-V. But I think you’ll get the greatest enlightenment by reading case studies. Here are some links:
Followers, if you’ve got your own personal experiences with this disorder, share them with the asker!
In 20 years I won’t remember today— that scares me.
So this would be my outlet to preserve the past where I could look back; to refresh all the learnings, all the pain that demands to be felt; to experience once more the beauty of every word and to enjoy the freedom of my hidden thoughts.
Remember Jennalyn, I was you. And I say “Hello and cheer up!”
“Be good to people. Even the shitty ones. Let the assholes be assholes. You’ll sleep better.”
So I would deal with that friendly asshole on a friendly manner as well.
As always, you are conspiring with the universe to make me fall again. And I hate seeing myself dancing as our favorite old song plays, feeling like loving it all over again.Jennalyn Morada, “Last Thought of August”
"Also, there was that whole period of time where he was withholding crucial information about your life being a living hell. And also that time where he tried to demand custody of a child that he in no way shape or form had a right to custody of. Oh, and how he specifically targeted then sexpionaged a high school student for information for his shitty memoir about me. But otherwise, that Ezra Fitzgerald is one stand up gentleman."
OUR GENERATION WILL BRING CHANGE TO INDIA.
So proud of those boys. :’)
thank god it’s time for a change
You can really tell the difference with the younger generation of India and the older.
The world we live in. Is it fucked up? Yes. Is it unfair? Without a doubt. Can we change everything to make it better? Highly unlikely. Is that a reason to give up? No. Should we turn blind eyes to the negative aspects? HELL no. What should we do, then? Simple: We change what we have the power to change, acknowledge what we can’t in hopes that someone else eventually can figure out how to, and in the interim make our own situations the best they can be. It won’t be easy, that’s for sure. But it’s still good to try.Scott Udell (via wnq-writers)