Let The Lord be our guide in the journey of our lives. This Lenten Season, it’s the best time for us to reflect and have proper observance of The Lord’s sufferings, death and resurrection. Let there be light as we all take our steps to His Heaven.
What a night.
The Catastrophic History of You and Me by Jess Rothenberg
The hardest part to forget was when you said, “I love you…” and I replied back, “I love you too…”, sincerely. But I think you don’t remember anymore the love we’ve shared. I just thought you were sincere as well.
Don’t like a girl like me. I am a firecracker, a roman candle. I am an unlit fuse, dangerously unstable and wickedly unpredictable. I am enticing and exciting, the thought of holding me in your hands makes your stomach twitch. You flick the metal on the lighter, set me ablaze and have to run twenty feet back to escape my explosion. The sound of my fuse blowing is deafening, but burst of me isn’t as exciting as you expected. In the end I am just a charred stump of paper and wood, the distant memory of that twitch in your abdomen is now just a wrinkle of sadness. I am nothing you expected me to be in the end.
Don’t date a girl like me. I am a wave, a rolling current. You stand on the edge of the water, ankle deep in sand from waves that sucked you in ages ago, unable to move. You search the horizon for something new and there I am. Your pulse pounds in your ears. Your thighs tighten as you spot me a few yards from shore. This will be it, you think, this wave will be the one to break you from these gravel shackles. You can feel the cold sparks of me against your thighs ages before I even break. This is it, you repeat. This is it. This is it. This.is.it. Then I rush into you and you are refreshed, your feet loosen from the sand and before my waters have receded, before I have run back away from you, you have taken off running for the safe warmth of land.
Don’t love a girl like me. I am the sun; a hot bright spot a million miles away from you, untouchable and magnificent. I am the warmth and light, after a month of clouds; after years of living surrounded by winter. I remind you what it is like to be awake, to be excited, to be alive. Your entire body feels as if it has been asleep for years and along came my light and forced your eyes open. You want to hold me, but I am too hot. That makes you want me all the more, makes you want to pull me from the sky and keep you next to me. Then days, months, years, come and go and your skin starts to peel, your lips are so parched from all the heat that you can barely press your lips to mine. There is just too much heat and light. I am not variable enough. You need a few days of clouds, a few years of winter again. I am too much, you realize.
Don’t know a girl like me. I am everything you ever wanted and nothing you can ever need.
It was a moment of midnight sadness, indeed. The feeling burst down my vein for a few seconds after knowing that he’s starting to like someone else. It was like a fear came to life, but I am aware from the very beginning that it would always be a part of our reality — that we would never be together. I tried to be prepared for this day long before, but I didn’t imagine it would be this afflictive; my inside is like tearing apart, while the hurtful feeling is stabbing me gently the most painful way possible.
On the background:
Random songs played by neighbor.
Familiar voices. Laughing. Drinking. Stories.
Indeed, it’s one of my summertime sadness.
Sidenote: I said I won’t post anything about him anymore. However, as always — ‘I break my own rules.’
The perks of being single — you can have more dates for the month of February, without a buzzing guy checking you every now and then. But that’s not always the case; you wouldn’t like to see yourself sipping a glass of wine with someone on your mind, while in reality, you are in a place with your badass soul mates in a friendly manner.
deyym! What am I saying? Hahaha! Just a random thought from February.
He said, “You deserve a better man — not maybe perfect, but someone who could give you a perfect relationship.”
~I don’t know what tickled his mind to say those words; for a moment he asked a serious matter and it made me more curious of his unclear intention.~
I replied, “I’m not searching for a perfect man nor a perfect relationship. I just want a simple, quiet and a happy relationship.
[At the back of my mind]
~Someone even with outlined flaws, dark past and bad side could still be a perfect man in the eye of someone who genuinely loves him. And that imperfect man would open his heart for the innate kindness in his deepest core and would work his ass to become maybe not a perfect man, but a good one for someone he truly love.~
Final words from him:
"In terms of love, I’m like a river — go with the flow; who ever pick me up in flowing river, I’ll give and show to her the best of me."